Just plain old me.

Hello. Today was kinda something that struck a nerve. I have mixed feelings, unwanted thoughts and just stuff that shouldn't even matter. And i think people don't really know who i am.

Hi, I am Iffah Yasmin. I'm turning 18 on May 18 and I am really nothing special. People know me as Efah cause thats how i spell my name for my twitter and youtube accounts. I guess it got stuck with me since i have a best friend named Iffa as well. 

Here's a sneak peek to what i have gone through my whole life. When i was younger, i was diagnosed with kidney failure. I was only 6. i was already coming close to the third stage. But somehow, some miracle happened and i got better. No, thats some bullshit. I suffered in the hospital for 2 months straight, having blood test everyday and it came to a point medication could not help me and i had to undergo surgery. Since then, i was not allowed to eat any fast food meals at all. I could not go swimming or any places that was crowded because my immune system was low and i could get sick easily. And when i do, that means my condition will worsened. So up til i was 10, i couldnt stuff any fast food meals down my throat. I had to go straight home after school, i never hung out with anyone. 

That had led to me being bullied. My group of friends were small and i didnt have a strong bond with them. They were easily swayed by things they heard and stuff people told them. I had a bad primary school life. I had huge fights and i ended up being a loner and i had no friends. It seemed like the whole world was against me. But things took a turn for the better near the end of my primary school years. I gained my friends back but obviously, there are always scars.

In my secondary school years, it was a little bit better. No bullying, no losing friends, none of that crap. I think secondary school was a good time of my life. I met amazing people, some became a huge part of my life and other held a special place in my heart. Secondary school was good apart from the normal bitchy friends that were always out to steal your boyfriends away from you (trust me, it happened to me and i still wonder why she did since she was my bestfriend). But secondary school was also the huge reason as to why i am who i am today.

It taught me that just because they are your friends, you can trust them and it also taught me that eventually, everyone leaves.

Now being a Poly student, i have definitely matured. I am currently a bartender, (do not ask me how i got the job, i just did) and i'm happy, somesort. I've had my troubles with my family and i almost saw my family break apart in front of my eyes.  I almost saw the one thing that i cherish disappear but i have rectified that and all is supposedly well now.. But one thing i don't get, we get older, we are suppose to be wiser. But damn, why do people judge me when i say i am a bartender? Is it because of my religion you look down on me? Yes, i'm a Muslim, so does that make me some bad Muslim because i have that job? Grow up, i'm way beyond it. I know i'm not the most perfect Muslim in the world but that job i have is what is paying all my bills and gives me my meals daily. Just because i don't pray 5 times a day, does that defines who i am? I'm sorry, but i'm not perfect, i'm a sinner too and i admit it. I'M NOT PERFECT.

So there you go, that was how my life has been and i've been through a lot and it has made me who i am today. I knwo i can come off as someone who is hard to handle or particularly difficult to understand but now you all know why? I've had a lot to deal with and i have too many scars that i think people should finally know. So just one thing i ask of all of you, please, don't judge me.

OKAY, TO END OFF THIS SAD POST, (SIDETRACK AND SELF-PROMOTE) HERE IS A NEW YOUTUBE VIDEO I JUST UPLOADED! GO SHARE! <3