Bittersweet Night

Hey guys. So tonight, marks the last day of fasting month. We're welcoming Eid Mubarak tomorrow and I'd be lying if i said i haven't been looking forward to it. Let me enlighten you guys on something else too.

My brother's leaving for Guangzhou, China on 20th July. Yeap, its this coming Monday. My days with him around are pretty much so little that it seems i've lost so much time.

He decided to share the final break fast here, at my place with my parents seeing that he's residing in a hotel now while waiting for the day of his departure. And right after the announcement for Eid being confirmed, the takbir resonated on the radio speakers.

For 2-3 straight years, i have missed the chance to enjoy and pray with the takbir to welcome Eid. To think that the past years i've spent them in school, on the bus, at work and not at home sharing the moment with my parents wasn't a big deal until reality dawn upon me that for the next 2 years, my brother won't be able to share this moment with us.

I didn't know how to feel tonight to be honest. I've been excited one moment staring at all the Eid that waiting to be worn and at the same time, when i think about my brother leaving, i just want Eid to come a little later.

I've been sending text messages to acquaintances, friends, best friends, and surprisingly, even some of my exes had texted me Eid messages to once again be at 0-0 this year without any hard feelings. And here I am, still hesitating to press send to that one person i really wanted to apologise for the past few weeks. I guess deep down, i know he probably won't read it or he probably blocked me.

But all that aside, tonight feels really bittersweet. Family is important to me and knowing that one of my siblings is leaving to work in a different country kinda hit me pretty hard.